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New Math

Fri, May 28th, 2010  |   Funny Stuff, Musings 1 Comment

There’s something that’s bothered me for a long time. Like years. A couple of decades, actually.

Bicycles are a big part of life in Japan. Many people use bicycles to get around, particularly to get to-and-from train stations, from which they commute to-and-from work, school and such.

If you live in a country where bicycles are not a mainstream form of transport, it might not occur to you, but with thousands of bicycles in every neighborhood, there is substantial demand for parking space.

Around most train stations, particularly those in or near major urban centers, there are dedicated parking lots for bicycles. They range from simple open-air plots of land to fancy multi-level covered parking lots…just like there are for cars.

Of course, you have to pay to use these bicycle parking lots.

The thing that’s bugged me for so long is the pricing system. Example below:

illogical sign

The typical arrangement is something like what’s indicated above. For bicycles: 1,500 Yen for one month; 4,500 Yen for three months. (The 2,000/6,000 pricing is for small scooters.)

Umm…duh.

I have never been able to figure out why it’s necessary to show the price for three months.

Most people in Japan, I assume, are able to multiply 1,500 Yen by three to derive 4,500 Yen, so why the need for that extra column? Just to fill up space perhaps? Why not list the prices for two, four, five, six, seven, etc. months as well if we’re going to do simple calculations for everyone?

I know. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal. It’s just something that gets under my skin every time I pass one of these signs.

Today, however, I came across this sign…

logical sign

…and felt an enormous burden lifted off my shoulders.

Looks like someone else finally figured out the math and realised the three-month deal wasn’t such a bargain after all.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm

Fri, Apr 30th, 2010  |   Funny Stuff, Musings 1 Comment

On the return journey from Bohol, I had a brief stopover in Manila, where I was able to catch up with friend and fellow photographer Gunther Deichmann.

It was a perfect opportunity to talk about the future of photography, the meaning of life and other thought-provoking subjects while we shared a drink or two (or perhaps more accurately, several pitchers plus a few bottles…or was that several bottles plus a few pitchers?).

Never mind.

Before hooking up with Gunther, I read this note in my hotel room:

thought-provoking note

It says:

To our valued guests:

There are occasions when the hotel receives calls from individuals trying to connect to our guestrooms. These prank callers identify themselves as members of “Abu Sayyaf” and that they are working with hotel employees. Their objective is to scare hotel guests into giving them money.

We wish to assure you that the management has taken steps to ensure protection to our guests.

In case you receive any of these calls please advice the reception at local 7 or Security at local 222 immediately.

Tips:
1. Do not give your room number and name to anyone you do not know outside the hotel.
2. Do not answer calls from people you do not know.

Fair enough.

I probably should’ve been concerned, but actually, I laughed it off and forgot about the note. My desire to take a shower and change into clean clothes was more pressing.

But…shortly thereafter, my phone rang. The operator indicated that I had a call from “Mr. Desmond”.

Hmmm.

All of the sudden, the content of the cautionary note became relevant, since I don’t know any “Mr. Desmond” in Manila. I told the hotel phone operator that I did not know a Mr. Desmond, and hung up.

Back to my shower.

Shortly thereafter, the phone rang again.

This time, the operator said: “Mr. Wu, you have a call from Mr. Junta.”

My first reaction was: “Gee these would-be extortionists are certainly persistent.”

I was just about to hang up again when the proverbial light bulb went off in my head.

Junta. Desmond. Junta. Desmond. Junta. Desmond.

Aha! Gunther Deichmann.

I took the call, and sure enough, it was a somewhat puzzled Gunther wondering why I’d refused his earlier call.

Simple. The hotel operator had misheard/ mispronounced Gunther’s name, and as a result, I thought he wanted to extort money from me.

Of course, I didn’t say that to him, but when I showed Gunther and a few other friends this photo later that evening, we all had a good laugh.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Thu, Apr 8th, 2010  |   Funny Stuff, Marine Life, Places, Adventures 4 Comments

During my Lembeh trip, I came across this fish:

flounder

At face value, it’s uninteresting…basically just a flounder on the sand. Yawn.

Upon closer inspection though, you’ll see that there are three very sneaky extraterrestrial entities controlling the fish. Seriously.

Cleverly disguised to blend in with the flounder’s colouration, the extra-planetary trio have big black eyes, shiny white teeth (buck teeth in one instance), and somewhat dopey expressions on their faces (though…who am I judge alien visages?).

flounder

Best I can surmise, the bug-eyed body snatchers have constructed see-through portals in the fish through which they survey the world and steer their host flounder. One has to assume that they’ve effected some manner of mind control over the poor piscine.

From a more scientific point of view, this could perhaps be the first documentation of how and why flounders are capable of such effective camouflage…it’s advanced alien technology (not chromatophores, as commonly believed).

I thought about capturing the fish to secure this invaluable technology for the benefit of all mankind, but having studied alien zap-ray weaponry in detail when I was a kid (Star Trek, Star Wars, Mars Attacks, et al.) and also having watched nearly every episode of The X-Files, I decided not to place myself in harm’s way, and fled the scene soon after taking these photos.

In retrospect, one has to wonder though, if you take the trouble to travel several million light years to get here, why on earth would you bother taking over a drab, one-sided fish? There’s just no accounting for alien taste.

(Heok Hui was the first to discover the aliens. I haven’t seen or heard from him since the trip though, so I have to assume that they’ve hunted him down and silenced him. Aliens are good at that.)

Me At Work

Sat, Mar 6th, 2010  |   Funny Stuff, Places, Adventures 4 Comments

Transitioning from day diving to night diving for the Night Safari event was easy. We had a 24-hour break when we converted over to the night schedule, so I had some time to offload nitrogen and get a bit of rest.

Transitioning from night diving to day diving, however, has been much more difficult, with only a few hours between the last dive of the night dive schedule and the first dive of the day schedule.

So…for the past day or so, I’ve been feeling like this:

sleepy crab

Which explains this snapshot that Eric took of me during our morning dive today.

That’s me in the background, and some of my equipment in the foreground. Note the unique technique I employ to get a black background.

me at work

The Crab and The Nudibranch

Wed, Mar 3rd, 2010  |   Funny Stuff, Marine Life, Places, Adventures 8 Comments

Crabs are comical. There’s no doubt about it.

Following on the crab/ pipehorse test of wills I saw two nights ago, last night I watched as a crab and nudibranch matched wits.

From the outset, I had little doubt that the crab would come out the better of the two, but it was still a lot of fun to watch this mini-drama unfold.

It all started when I saw a nudibranch (Marionia pustulosa) making its way across the bottom. We’ve seen a lot of these nudis recently, so I didn’t give it much thought, and I was about to swim by…when I noticed something ambling across the sea bottom toward the nudibranch.

Within seconds, I watched as a crab walked in front of the nudibranch and grabbed the unsuspecting sea slug’s rhinophores to pull it down to a more crab-friendly level. The crafty crustacean proceeded to mount…yes, to mount…the nudibranch.

crab and nudibranch

Of course, no self-respecting opistobranch wants to be seen in public with an unattractive accessory like this crab (much less to have its photo taken with one), so the hapless nudibranch resisted.

The besieged sea slug took off at top speed (for a nudibranch), but the nimble crab quickly changed strategy. It grabbed on from the side as the nudibranch sped away (again at top nudibranch velocity) and clambered atop the fleeing slug.

crab and nudibranch

Once astride the nudibranch, the crab sat back(ward) and rode off into the proverbial sunset (there was, of course, no sunset, since it was just after 22:00 and underwater, but the mental image makes for a nice ending).

crab and nudibranch

The Crab and The Pipehorse

Tue, Mar 2nd, 2010  |   Funny Stuff, Marine Life, Places, Adventures 4 Comments

The ocean at night is witness to many a drama. Some involve life-and-death struggles between predator and prey. Others are just funny.

Last night was the first night of the Night Safari hosted by Kasawari Lembeh Resort. We started diving around 17:30, and I came up out of the water on our last dive at around 02:30 the next morning. The moon was full and bright, and Lembeh Strait was teeming with activity.

On the last dive, one of the guides pointed out a little pipehorse (Acentronura sp.), which looks exactly like it sounds…half pipefish, half seahorse.

pipehorse

Like many of the other animals we came across, this little pipehorse was quite active, prowling the bottom looking for food. I followed as it made its way across the sandy bottom of a site called Pantai Parigi, taking photos as and when the opportunity arose, since the pipehorse, like most Sygnathids, was camera shy.

pipehorse

Along the way, the pipehorse grabbed hold of various objects with its prehensile posterior…to steady itself and pause for short breaks.

The funny part came when the pipehorse latched onto a well-camouflaged crab:

pipehorse

Grumpy by nature, the crab was none-too-happy about the situation, and shook the bewildered pipehorse loose a few times. In each instance, the pipehorse turned with a puzzled expression, then wrapped its tail around the crab again…only to be dislodged once more.

Eventually, the crab grew weary of the clueless pipehorse and trundled off in a huff, as indignant crabs are wont to do.

I should’ve taken more photographs, but it’s difficult to hold steady when you’re overcome with uncontrollable laughter.

Meeting Mike

Wed, Feb 24th, 2010  |   Funny Stuff, People, Places, Adventures 11 Comments

There are some really strange things in Lembeh. Take Mike for example.

Mike Veitch

Mike is the manager at NAD-Lembeh Dive Resort. He’s been kind enough to invite me over to NAD several times, but I’ve never actually made it over there until tonight (actually, I’ve totally been avoiding him, on the advice of mutual acquaintances).

Mike is from Canada. As if that weren’t sufficient reason to give him wide berth, Mike has been alone for a long time, stuck on a small island in Indonesia.

He is, let’s say, desperate for companionship.

…which is why I was quite happy that Hergen (who is the manager at Lembeh Resort) was also present for the evening.

Hergen is cuter than I am (at least in Mike’s eyes), so he bore the brunt of Mike’s misguided affections.

Mike and Hergen

Not long after I took this photo, Hergen wisely rushed back to his wife at Lembeh Resort, and I fled returned to Kasawari Lembeh Resort, leaving Mike…once again…frustrated and alone.

Note to Mike: This is what you get for inviting me over!

Missing Mojo

Fri, Dec 25th, 2009  |   Funny Stuff, People, Places, Adventures 6 Comments

It’s Christmas morning. I was searching for a suitably festive image to post for the holidays, when I stopped and thought: “Nah, that’s boring. Everyone does that.”, and I decided to post something silly instead.

Phil immediately came to mind.

Phil was one of my fellow travellers aboard the MV Golden Dawn on my recent trip to PNG. He was a constant and reliable source of entertainment (the term “court jester” springs to mind), as is evident from this montage of Phil searching for his photographic mojo during the first day or two of the trip:

phil

Despite his resemblance to Dr Evil, Phil is actually much more of an Austin-Powers-type personality.

In case you were wondering, Phil located his misplaced mojo at some stage, as he stopped waving his hands around like a deranged supervillain…though he commenced singing excerpts from cheesy ’80s pop songs at random intervals.

Happy Holidays!

Mimicry

Wed, Dec 23rd, 2009  |   Funny Stuff, Marine Life, Places, Adventures 11 Comments

Just over a year ago, I was fortunate enough to see and photograph the recently described Maluku frogfish (Histiophryne psychedelica) in Ambon, Indonesia. (More information about that trip posted here.)

Maluku frogfish

…which is why I jumped up and immediately took notice when I saw the following image on a computer screen during my recent trip to the Eastern Fields in Papua New Guinea.

mushroom coral

Julie Edwards took this photo during a different trip, and it popped up on her display while we were sharing images and stories from past adventures.

Now…while I don’t want to jump to conclusions, I’d be remiss not to point out the obvious and striking similarity between the two images…and suggest the possibility that this could be the first-ever documentary evidence of a type of coral that’s generally under-appreciated and ignored by most divers crying out for attention by mimicking an exceedingly rare and only recently described frogfish.

Or…of course…it could just be a meaningless coincidence that would only excite an easily distracted photographer with a hyperactive imagination who has better things to do but just can’t seem to focus for long enough to make any significant progress.

Choose Your Travel Companions With Care

Sun, Nov 8th, 2009  |   Funny Stuff, Marine Life, Places, Adventures 11 Comments

If you travel as frequently as I do, you learn to be careful about the people you associate with. I pride myself on being highly discriminating, choosing to fraternize only with individuals of the utmost sophistication and grace:

giant squid

People who, when confronted with a scientifically valuable discovery of a 351cm giant squid arm segment, would behave in a manner befitting the circumstances:

Though I must admit error in judgement from time to time, as during my most recent excursion, when imprudent choice of travel companions precipitated the need for me to undertake an impromptu ablution to expunge the unyielding aroma of decomposing cephalopod:

The Last Supper

Sat, Oct 31st, 2009  |   Funny Stuff, Musings, People 2 Comments

A few weeks ago, I welcomed Eric, Julia, Douglas and Emily to Japan for the start of our quest to photograph and video sperm whales by taking them to dinner at a small sushi restaurant outside Tokyo.

Our trip was a wild success, and Eric and Julia have already gone back. Tonight, we had dinner with Douglas and Emily to say goodbye, as they’ll be boarding a plane for the long trip home tomorrow. Tom, one of Douglas’s friends from high school, joined us too.

kushiyaki

I took them to a small kushiyaki restaurant called Kushihana (串花) in Nishi-azabu. In case you’re not familiar with kushiyaki cuisine, it’s basically delicious bite-sized morsels of stuff skewered and deep-fried on little sticks, generally washed down with copious quantities of beer, shochu, or whatever other form of alcohol is on hand.

Nishi-azabu a swank neighborhood in Tokyo with lots of fancy shops, restaurants and clubs, but this place is quaint and cozy, and just about everyone who goes there is a diver. The owner is a diver and a big fan of underwater photography, so it seemed like an appropriate place for our last dinner together.

Of course, we couldn’t let the evening go by without a bit of fun…at Douglas’s expense:

I’m sure Douglas had a nagging feeling that he was being set up, but he was a good sport and played along, much to the amusement of all the other people in the restaurant (who were all in on the gag).

If you’re ever in Tokyo and feel like going to a small place that’s not packed with tourists and socialites, this is a map to Kushihana, and the address is Minato-ku, Nishiazabu 4-2-15, 106-0031 (港区西麻布4-2-15, 106-0031). You have to speak Japanese though.

And make sure you visit the bathroom, where one of my sperm whale photos is on display.

Shhhhhhhhh

Sun, Jul 12th, 2009  |   Funny Stuff No Comments

While I was out shopping the other day (actually, more accurate would be…while I was out holding shopping bags and trying my best to look interested the other day), I was forced to spend time I visited a shop that had some sort of sale going on…some thing or another that originally cost Yen 1995 was selling at a special price of two for Yen 3150 (Can you tell how emotionally invested I was in the shopping process?).

khush

Somewhat curious, but more concerned about devising a subtle but effective strategy for minimising my time holding said shopping bags, I didn’t give it much thought…until a few minutes later, when I noticed another sign at a nearby retail establishment, whose oddly familiar name seemed to suggest a preference for keeping things quiet:

store

A bit of quick math and I understood why.

The second outlet (Hushush), offering discounts of 30% to 50%, was clearly undercutting the first outlet (Khush Khush), as the first outlet’s two for Yen 3150 amounted to a measly 21% off.

Obviously, Hushush didn’t want Khush Khush to catch on to its competitive advantage.

Mum’s the word.