My time between trips is always a mad scramble to download and backup files, attend to miscellaneous errands, catch up on correspondence, get camera stuff sorted, unpack and re-pack, get some sleep(?), etc.
Given how crazy-hectic things are, I’m always short on time. It would therefore be logical to stay focused and attack my monstrous to-do list with maximum vigour.
Logical perhaps, but not really feasible…given how prone I am to distractions. Particularly entertaining ones.
Following is an example of one such distraction that transpired over nearly four hours yesterday morning…excerpts from an exchange of bad puns with a bird-brained friend who derives inordinate (bordering on sadistic) pleasure in subjecting innocent bystanders to cringe-worthy awful puns.
To be fair, in this instance…I asked for it. I could’ve just read and deleted his initial email without replying and goading him on…but I just couldn’t resist.
To protect the guilty, I won’t name my friend, but I’m sure some of you…the poor souls who know him or happen to be related to him…will figure it out right away.
Fair warning…If you can’t stand atrocious puns and related butchering of language, skip the rest of this post!
Friend: My wife’s favorite white bird, the egret, has been visiting us more recently.
White are my feathers;
Graceful are my neck and wings.
I am elegance.
(Note: Said friend also enjoys conveying information in haiku form.)
Me: I’m tempted to engage in a pun exchange but I hesitate, for fear that I’ll egret it. (Note: See? I asked for it.)
Friend: Yes, you’d hear about it from now to the great heron…(Note: Groan. But believe it or not, it gets worse from here.)
Me: My fault for opening my big mouth. I never learn. I feel like such a turkey.
Friend: That’s what you get for giving me the bird.
Me: I must cry fowl.
Friend: ‘Tis a fowl, fowl better thing that you write than you have ever written…
Me: Now you’ve scared the Dickens out of me and I just feel like sticking my head in the sand.
Friend: Careful, in Hawaii we cook things that are stuck in emus.
Me: I’m fast enough to take flight and make myself as scarce as a dodo.
Friend: Great Awk, fly carefully and don’t crane your neck–you certainly don’t want to extinct yourself.
Me: I’ll certainly endeavor to avoid such a swan song.
Friend: I make it a cardinal rule not to carry on the puns long enough to drive my friends stork raving mad, so I’ll stop here.
Note: And with that…I waved the white flag of surrender and got back to work (actually, on to other engaging distractions).
Update: Notable replies I received from friends:
“This had me crowing with laughter.”
“Well, owl be damned!”